Most days I can push through the pain & emotions of this journey. Today I'm not doing it. I wish I could but it just seems like too much.
I've had a bad headache for way too long. Today I've had nausea & vomiting. My back has been hurting for a while and I've been experiencing some neurological changes. And emotionally I just feel tender and afraid.
I have not found anything to be helping my physical pain and I'm pretty sure that I have allowed that pain to affect me emotionally.
Everything combined drove me to visit the ER today. Triage. Assessment. Bloodwork. CT. Wait.
You know, just another Good Friday.
Then we got the news.
My head CT has shown some abnormalities in my brain -- most likely some new breast cancer metsastes.
Ugh. Xhevat and I cried. We tried to text those who needed to know immediately (but missed people in the shock).
Then we were sent over to RCH and I was admitted. As I looked around the others in the four bed room, I look nothing like the other patients. It scared me. Initial nursing assessment done. I lay my head down for the first time comfortably. Then the doc assesses me. He wants more imaging that won't happen until tomorrow hopefully.
"Do I need to be here or can you give me a overnight pass? I will be back whatever time you want me to be here." And he agreed!
So we're all at home. We picked up Matias from our neighbor's who were so fantastic to watch him (they only have girls clothes in his size). Nicole, my sis, arrived after 1am and now I'm supposed to hurry and rest and go back to my inpatient bed early in the morning.
It's a dark day today, but Sunday's coming.