Since diagnosis, I've asked many questions in terms of what my options were for treatment. Most of my questions were answered with a "no" or "not right now" at first and over the course of the last year many of these answers have turned into "yes." For this I am so grateful.
A few weeks ago one of my doctors said something to the effect of "cases like yours come up often when we talk in terms of funding." In other words, a lot of money spent has been spent on your treatment and care which might be viewed as extravagant or unnecessary as the medical goal is not to cure your cancer. With regards to one of the procedures he asked me, "do you think it was worth it?"
While I don't have a bill that would show me how much has been my care this past year has cost, I know the number is very high (and probably higher than I could afford if I had to pay for it on my own).
On the other hand, I try not to cost the system unnecessarily. I ask/push to go home after surgery (for many reasons) including the fact that unless I'm having complications, it's cheaper for me to go home to recover. I ask for the least amount of medication to be given to me because I know how much it costs and I don't want it to be wasted. I'm fully capable of giving myself an injection and I ask to do so rather than going into an office and having a doctor or nurse administer it (even if it's the biggest needle I've ever given anyone in my life!).
I know that I'm currently a "burden" to the healthcare system (and I don't like that feeling)... but I certainly feel that I'm a worthy burden. It's not because of who I am or because of what I've contributed to the healthcare system or even because of what I might be able to give back to the system in the future. I'm young, healthy (other than my cancer) & feisty. My cancer is currently responding to treatment and I have a really good quality of life.
And my answer to my doctor's question as to if I think the procedure was worth it is an "absolutely yes!" I am very grateful that I live in a place where I have options for treatment and am not overwhelmed financially to be able to receive it. I've had to make some really tough decisions about treatment and surgeries which impact me now and in the future... and my heart is at peace with the decisions I've made.
Thank you for continuing to carry me.
366 days ago I visited a salon and had my curls cut off. It's hard to think that I might never have those curls again. My boy has his mama's curls and they are so beautiful! I live vicariously through them.