The Party

I'm eating leftovers from the party, looking at all of the flowers, cards, chocolates, toy cars, bracelets and socks that were given to us. The dishes have been washed, the food has been put away and the house has been cleaned (thanks to my husband, parents, and friends).

And now I'm sitting in my living room and just sort of taking it all in.

A year ago I was devastated. I vividly remember the ladies that prayed for me the night before my breast exam, my last time breastfeeding my boy, the looks of concern and sadness on the doctors and nurses faces throughout the day of tests and procedures, the pain of the biopsies, the tears and shock while waiting for my CT, the dread of telling my family, the "I hope you feel better soon" from my nieces and nephew, the writing of emails to my friends asking them to pray, the intense pain & feelings of bewilderment...

There are also many things I don't remember. The shock of my diagnosis and the pain medication blurred some of my thoughts and numbed some of my emotions.

A year ago at this time I was sitting in a chair getting chemo for the first time... and now I'm sitting at home still reeling but with my heart in a very different place.

For weeks (probably months actually) I've been dreaming, planning, and preparing for Valentine's Day -- one year since my cancer diagnosis.

One of my favourite parts of getting ready was making a picture/backdrop behind the food table. Since the picture hanging on the wall didn't match the party's colour scheme, something had to change! :-) And since the party was about celebrating the people in my life that have loved on me this past year, I wanted that to be the focal point.

At the center of the picture is a heart made up of numerous other hearts. The little red heart represents me and all of the other hearts represent each of you. And to put identities to those hearts, I started a list of some of the many names (God, Xhevat, Matias, my parents, my sister and her family, my in-laws, etc.). As the list got longer and longer, your names were added to a growing number of people in our lives... family, friends, acquaintances & strangers. 

I cannot imagine going through this past year without your outpouring of love and support and prayers. We have felt the effects your prayers. We've eaten the meals you've prepared. We've been blessed by generous babysitters and chauffeurs. We've received your words and gifts of encouragement. We've lived, laughed, cried and loved.

Thank you.

In spite of everything that has happened I can say it's been a good year. And I can definitely say that this Valentine's Day was better than last year.

There are many overwhelming emotions swirling around in my heart today. I can easily get caught up in how overwhelming everything has been but for now, I'm going to enjoy today and smell the roses (and tulips). I will continue to celebrate the life and love that has been given to me. 

Thank you for this past year and I hope and pray for many more to come.

Family Photos by Wendy Delamont Lees rof Ciao Bella Photography