Stretch Marks

Stretch marks.

You know what they are. Pregnancy can often be a cause of stretch marks. Growth spurts can also be a cause. And of course, steroids can cause them. They happen when some part of your body grows too quickly and your skin can't stretch/adapt quickly enough. 

I somehow miraculously avoided stretch marks when I was pregnant... but I didn't manage to avoid them with steroids! I have stretch marks in lots of places now... my thighs, my waist, and even my the skin on my face is different.

I have gotten some spiritual stretch marks too. Going from a breastfeeding mom to a palliative cancer patient in a matter of three hours came as quite a shock to me. It was then that I had to decide in whom I was going to give my trust. I felt I could trust my new doctors with treatment plans... although it was difficult to trust them completely as previous medical mistakes had happened. I could trust my family and friends with my emotions and to care for me physically. I learned to trust my church to take care of things I would have been too proud to accept before my diagnosis.

But all of that was not enough. I needed to have my heart firmly trusting in Him and His plan for me. I believe that God hates cancer even more than I do... but I have it and choosing to turn away from God at the lowest point of my life was not an option. The earthquake of this cancer journey has certainly shaken my faith... but instead of causing despair and destruction, the rocks of my faith have shifted and created a foundation that is even more solid.

So even though I have unsightly stretch marks, I can use each little shiny line of skin to remind me of how God is growing me.

He's reminding me to:

- trust Him with my today and tomorrow

- surrender both me & my family to Him

- spend time and have conversations with purpose

- give my body it's best ability to be healthy and trust Him to choose how my body will respond 

- live today fully

- rest in Him

- celebrate

My stretch marks have been earned... not simply something left behind. I'm learning and growing (both figuratively and physically) through my cancer journey... and my body has beautifully ugly stretch marks and scars that remind me of where I've been and where I'm going.

Little Mr. Independent (growing up way too quickly... no stretch marks on him, just bumps and bruises so far)