Thursday, 19 February 2015

Looking at Life in a New Way

Xhevat and I got some difficult news this week. I am now being taken care of by the palliative care team. There is no longer anything that can be done by radiation to help in my care. And we need to make decisions as to whether continuing with chemo will be beneficial or just more side effects.

I should have seen this coming but I didn't see it this quickly. Physically I've declined. I take longer to do things and require assistance. I have a walker, raised toilet seat, shower chair, and wheel chair. A hospital bed will be coming shortly. I miss my ability to go to the bathroom by myself. My dad's "solution" was that I should wear adult diapers when I was travelling. I'm not there.

I have no clue what the future will bring. I do not know if God will choose healing here on earth or death. I do not know when... but I do look forward to heaven.

Looking at life in a new way

14 comments:

  1. Big hug Krista, we will continue praying for you and your family. Thank you for your steadfast faith, brutally honest blog, and strength in the face of such difficult times. We trust our prayers will keep you before the throne of grace, and God will sustain you through whatever He allows you to journey through. He loves you, and so do we.

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  2. Krista, I'm sorry for your hard news, I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers, I was thinking of a line from a song ":there is nothing on earth that heaven can't heal". Praying for your healing, here or there. May God be your strength, your peace and your rock in this storm!
    HUGGS

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  3. You are a shining beacon and help me to look at life in a new way. Love you all!

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  4. Krista. I'm so sorry for difficult decisions, and the unknown. I'm thankful for your hope, trust and peace in the Lord. We will continue to faithfully raise you and your family in our prayers. Of course, PLEASE let me know if there is anything (else) I can do. Thank you for sharing your story, your life, with all of us... And your son has beautiful eyes. :)

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  5. Dear Krista,
    My heart hurts for you and yet I am so full of amazement at your strength & frankness balanced with your faith. I think back on our days sharing work space together and remember that girl with the big smile and bright eyes. I have felt privileged to follow your journey and have learned so much from you on your journey. I wish you peace Krista as you move with your family, your friends and your God through the next steps of your decision making. You are an amazing and wonderful woman.
    With great fondness,
    Tracie

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  6. Peace, love and comfort, Krista. xox

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  7. You are in our prayers and love dear ones. Life is your destiny, here and continuing thru eternity. May God be your strength and peace. Dana& Naomi

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  8. As a co-worker from the PICU I've been following your struggles with cancer and your delight in your boys. I'm sending you an all-encompassing hug to wrap yourself in the knowledge that you are loved and prayed for. xo

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  9. I will not give up bringing your name before the Lord!!! I am praying for a miracle, God do a miracle in Krista...I am praying the word Psalm 30:1, and verse 2!!! in Jesus name! and I am believing the Lord, verse3 !!! Amen.
    Love to you and your family,
    TeenaG.

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  10. Rae & I think and pray for you more than you will ever know. We miss you at church. Your words on this blog have strengthened our walk with God, You are a true inspiration krista! Please know, all will be well, no matter the outcome of this most difficult time, we love you.

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  11. The poem of a young man since passed.

    People say with albeit good intentions
    That if God heals me then His glory will be shown,
    But people often hesitate to mention
    The other side of His omniscient throne.

    For God to show His power through healing
    Would be glorious if it were His will,
    But it would also be maybe too appealing
    For perhaps my faith would stand too still.

    For in truth I want all to realize in whole
    That I care not what this ailment does
    Because I truly believe in full
    That God knew it all before it was.

    And in trusting Him I would gladly endure
    One thousand years of agony and strife
    In order to witness the most glorious cure
    Of Christ coming into just one more person’s life.

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  12. O love of God, how rich and pure!
    How measureless and strong!
    It shall forevermore endure
    The saints' and angels' song.

    Could we with ink the ocean fill,
    And were the skies of parchment made;
    Were every stalk on earth a quill,
    And every man a scribe by trade;
    To write the love of God above
    Would drain the ocean dry;
    Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
    Though stretched from sky to sky.

    Oh love of God how rich and pure...

    Gaither Vocal Band - The Love Of God

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  13. I am thinking about you and your family every single day Krista. I have checked this blog almost every single day for the past 2 years and your words have given me strength beyond imagination. You are an inspiration. God bless you.

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  14. Krista, You don't know me, but I'm a good friend of a friend of yours. And, more importantly, a sister in Christ. Haven't seen anything posted in awhile and that makes me worried or concerned? My hope for you is that you find God's peace and that your family feels his hedge of protection around them. Amen and amen!

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