Trusting God With My Future: Quirks About Life in Kosova

The best memories of my trip all include our family. Our time in Kosova was centered around just spending as much time with our family as we could & make memories. Xhevat was born & raised in Prishtina, Kosova. He is #7 of 9 kids (and the youngest son... which in Albanian tradition is the son who receives the inheritance and has the greatest responsibility to care for his parents, family and home). His family still lives in the same apartment and so bringing Matias to Kosova is allowing him to experience many of Xhevat's childhood memories (like sitting to eat his meals in the same place as Xhevat had done for many years).

The travelling part of the trip was perhaps the most challenging. We were very thankful to only have to take two flights to get to Kosova (in the past it's been three and with long layovers) and our layovers were very decent -- Vancouver to Munich to Prishtina going and Prishtina to Frankfurt to Vancouver returning. Airport to airport ended up being about 15 hrs going and 19 coming back (including a 2 hr delay cause our engine wouldn't start and then they misplaced our stroller here at YVR). Matias did decently on all flights except one where he cried the entire two and a half hours. Other than that, he was just active. In the past I've slept on planes to get over jet lag more quickly so not being able to do this due to an active toddler was challenging to me. We were very thankful for the bulkhead rows on our long flights and used the bassinets to relieve our arms for the moments he chose to sleep. The extra space on the floor for him to play & his inability to hit/kick the seats in front of us was also a plus. Decent travel experiences... just long.

We rented an apartment across town for all of us siblings who lived out of country -- six adults and four kids between six months and four years. Generally we'd sleep and eat breakfast at that appartment and then either walk (not me), drive or take a taxi across to the Krasniqi apartment. The taxis we took were like the London taxis... so we could throw Matias, even while he was in his stroller, straight into the taxi. No seatbelts were used in any travel other than on planes. Thanks for praying for our safety.

Medically, I developed some initially concerning symptoms on day two or three of our trip. We had our numbers of hospital contacts ready. And we also were in contact with my sister (a Physician's Assistant... used a lot in the US but not as much yet in Canada). Anyway, we'd FaceTime or send pictures & symptom lists and advice back and forth. In the end it appears that it was just being on steroids for a while and experiencing some of the side effects of that (currently my cheeks are still a little chubby and I look pregnant... especially at the end of the day!). There were new "bugs" that we all got into and between Matias & Xhevat & I, we each had our colds, coughs & sniffles with or without fevers. Very minor considering all that was going on. Your prayers covered kept us safe medically on this journey.

Our days would be spent eating & talking & hanging out with between 20-30 people (that's just immediate family). Xhevat's mom would each day cook amazing meals for everyone (his mom has an incredibly special servant's heart & that's why we tried to take our turns and help out with making meals a couple days). We'd have our Turkish coffee & Russian tea. Someone would always be making a special sweet or treat for us. And Xhevat's mom would cook anything and everything we wanted... Pasul (a white bean dish and Xhevat's favorite), pite me spanaq (a healthier and much more delicious version of spanokopita), corbe (a cross between a soup and a stew made from potatoes & other veggies), speca me leng (roasted peppers in a sauce with milk & a special kind of cheese, eggs & sausage in various ways, salad (just tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers & green onions... no leafy greens here!) & our absolute favourite... bread! Oh I could eat multiple loaves of fresh bread over there in one sitting. Absolutely delicious! And just for interests sake, meals would be offered around 10, 2 & 7 or 8. We were loved on & served extravagantly and able to love on & serve our family in return in a small way.

With all of those people in the house, Matias received entirely way too much love and attention and time with family... & he loved it! Even the first night that we arrived he stood proudly in the center of the room "commanding" everyone be clapping... and everyone complied! When we were celebrating my sister-in-law's upcoming wedding and the ladies were dancing, Matias was in the center of the circle dancing & clapping his hands! His grandparents, aunts & uncles and cousins would take him out for walks (well, in his case, he just runs) or to the playground five to ten times per day. He had a tough time playing so much there. :-) All routines of meal times, nap times, bed times, etc. were thrown out the window. Matias was introduced to, loved on and welcomed into the other half of his family and I am so thankful to have been a part of it.

As Matias was entertaining or being entertained, Xhevat and I would stay back and chat with family. We certainly had many emotional and difficult conversations. Personally, talking about my cancer was quite difficult as most of my family disregarded my situation as being as serious as it is -- I think this is how they're coping (I can't even begin to fit these conversations into this entry). So we talked politics and unemployment. We talked about health and the water situation. We talked about marriage and parenting and discipline. We talked about everything under the sun! There were also conversations around death and hope. And I was able to clearly share about my hope in Jesus. We all are going to die and so while we're living, we need to make sure that we prepare our hearts for that eventuality. While my heart struggles with dying, it is at completely at peace with death and as a matter of fact, I'm excited for Heaven because my Jesus has paid for my way into Heaven. And because of my relationship with Him, I have full assurance of being welcomed into Heaven to spend forever with my God! We just need to have our hearts ready. Again, the majority of these conversations are being done in Albanian. I was conversational in Albanian at the best of times when I lived in Kosova and I was pretty happy with being able to share from my heart after not being immersed in Albanian for three years. And that is also because of God and your prayers.

They watched us parent using words like "no" and correcting behaviours we didn't like and they we're surprised both that Matias actually would listen & obey (children, especially of the male variety in their culture are often quite spoiled). We were regularly told to leave him alone especially when touching electronics or the unlit propane heater or glass bowls with food. One time out of the blue my father-in-law said "no" in English to Matias and asked him to stop doing something. Matias obeyed & my father-in-law was shocked. I couldn't help but smile and I believe an "I told you so" might have slipped out of my mouth. Even Xhevat's dad was impressed.

They added "bravo" to his collection of cheering words. And by the end of our time there, he could follow certain Albanian commands and questions. In English he learned to count to 10, say the alphabet, and recognize numbers and letters (upper and lower case and in various fonts)... just a needing to have a proud mama moment. And he's only 21 months! He's absorbing so much! It's been so fun to watch & be a part of!

But Kosova also has it's quirks.

- Limited or no toilet paper can be flushed (a garbage can for used TP is available but in many places, you need to provide your own).

- At the Krasniqi's the water goes off every afternoon and so each day when the water comes back on, you fill up the couple dozen bottles that you've used for washing dishes or hands and in preparation for the next day's water outage.

- Sunny Hill, the subdivision where the Krasniqi's live has been beautified with little grassy areas, playgrounds, etc and is just so beautiful! Matias had so many places for his aunts, uncles & cousins to play & explore.

- A taxi will always come in four minutes always... this one made me chuckle every time we were told it.

- Bread is unfortunately baked fresh every day... oh how I love their bread!

- The restaurant where we got married was under construction (or being demolished) and we were disappointed that we couldn't get back there on a date. Restaurants change frequently in Kosova.

- While I've been welcomed into the family, a woman's word still doesn't hold very much weight so I had to have a few "talks" with men or others in the family as to what was acceptable or unacceptable to do around my child (i.e. If you are watching my son, you can't be smoking... and especially not right in his face.) It seems simple enough, right? Yeah... not so much apparently.

- Matias had never heard the call to prayer and one morning it started ringing out from the (at least) three mosques within our neighbourhood. Not knowing any better, Matias raised his hand (as his grandpa Wagenhoffer taught him) and began to vocalize along with it. I would have recorded it but our Muslim host was right there and I didn't want to offend. I don't think my smile was entirely hidden behind my hand.

- Our souvenirs of Kosova were mainly snacks (chocolate, certain chips, cookies, gummies, etc) and while most could probably be bought here, they are special to us cause they're from there. We also brought back my favorite Kleenex (yup, it menthol scented & I love it!), some baking pans and a rolling pin (think of a long maybe 1/2 inch diameter piece of wood that is a meter in length). I've used it three times so far!

It was a wonderfully difficult trip and one that I am so glad that I could take. All of the worries, struggles, lack of sleep, steroid side effects, frustrations in conversations, hurts, doubts, fears all pale when I've been able to point to my hope for a future and strength for today in Jesus.

Thank you for covering us in prayer on this trip.