Little Accomplishments

It's been a tough road since Easter and my brain mets diagnosis. Physically it's been especially challenging but I have made improvements. Some of these limitations have been caused by the actual tumours, some have been caused by the radiation, some have been caused by the steroids, and some have not been able to be explained. In their own way, each may have cause my physical challenges, but also each could be the reason why I've improved. I can always blame God for these improvements as well. :-)

Below are some changes that have happened physically... I like to call them my little accomplishments.

- speaking without sounding like I'm drunk

- going to the bathroom by myself (and not needing assistance to pull down my pants or get back up to standing)

- while we're on the bathroom theme, successfully squatting while using a public restroom (and avoiding all those icky toilet germs!)

- not needing to sit down when I take a shower... I have the power and endurance to stand!

- standing up from my bed without having to push off with my hands and repositioning myself in bed with greater ease

- getting tattooed (and only telling my husband & parents afterward... and they didn't even disapprove!)

- getting into a car, van or SUV and not having to lift my legs into the vehicle with my hands

- walking up the stairs at the end of the day just holding onto the railings for extra security and not to needing to pull my body up another step (update: two nights ago for the first time I walked up the stairs without holding on to anything... this is me taking chances and living on the wild side)

- I even recently "stepped" over the locked baby gate without going through the gate itself

- meals... I love cooking and can still cook... It just takes me a little longer to move around (but I'm certainly not quite up to housecleaning or changing poopy diapers... I gotta use my cancer card for something, right? :-)

- picking up my boy and playing with him (although I'm really cautious about this and still get other people to do this the majority of the time... especially if there are stairs involved)

- I can't quite get off my steroids yet but I'm almost there (and am really hoping to be able to get off them if my brain can handle it)

- I've been getting better sleep lately (especially when my boy sleeps). After more than 14 weeks of a headache, steroids and just the stress of everything, it is good to go to sleep at night and wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning. I'm certainly grateful for better rest.

While I've certainly had some increased strength and energy physically, it's been hard in other ways. Xhevat and I woke up early today to watch his sister's wedding on Skype. We were supposed to have been there but our plans had to change and we had to go earlier. It's tough not being with family today.

Thursday was a good day. My boy called me Mama, it does not matter that it was raining or that I was wearing a toque and am wrapped up in a blanket. As well, Xhevat has started a month of Compassionate Leave. It will be good to make some memories while I'm still feeling this well.

One of my six tattoos: The person tattooing me exclaimed midway through tattooing me, "Wow you tattoo really easily." What's that supposed to mean? Are my blue dots bigger than normal? Maybe they're just darker. I'll just take it as a compliment cause I don't know any better. And I'll definitely remember to tell my next tattoo artist before they start.