Cards, A Camera & Kleenex

While my past few days away were refreshingly beautiful, my heart faced some very difficult thoughts. Rest & preparing for the future were on the agenda.

Rest included uninterrupted sleep, extravagant food, some pool/sauna/spa time, and just being alone.

Preparing for the future wasn't quite as enjoyable. At the beginning of this all, a dear friend shared some ways that I could prepare things for if/when I die. When I was ready, she encouraged me to check out a website called Record Me Now. The concept is to record videos and answer questions for children that you might not get to share personally... a way to share my story with Matias if he doesn't get to know his mommy well.

Part of my time away was spent in front of a camera answering some of these questions. Remembering things about my life growing up, about our family and about him... and sharing some things that are important for him to know for his future as he grows up.

I also went with a bunch of note cards. I wanted to write notes for my family for significant events. And again, especially for Matias. I want him to have something from his momma on his birthdays, when he graduates, on his first date, when he gets his driver's license, etc. I would love nothing more than to be able to give each and every card to him personally but if I'm not able to be there, I want to be prepared.

My journey on these days away was heart wrenching. In the beauty of my surroundings, I was mourning the loss of me and how it might impact others. I've got a long way to go before I finish my videos and notes and it feels good to have started.

Cards, a camera & Kleenex

The view from my room