Twenty

Originally the plan was 2 to 6 cycles of chemo (eight to twenty-four weekly doses). We had no clue if I'd respond to chemo or if I could handle the side effects. My CTs and bloodwork have shown improvement. And anyone who has seen me can vouch that I'm doing quite decently and not experiencing horrible side effects.

This morning I had yet another doctor's appointment & some bloodwork and then chemo in the afternoon. These are two plans that are currently in play.

Plan A: a CT in 4 weeks and see how things are looking. Assuming that I'm continuing to respond and tolerating the side effects, my doctor is planning on adding another 8 weeks of chemo and then switching over to oral meds.

Plan B: a CT in 4 weeks and if I have plateaud in my response to the chemo or am not tolerating the side effects, I'll switch to oral meds.

So twenty down and either another four or twelve to go!

I have mixed emotions. While I'm thrilled at the idea of the chemo working (and lessening the cancer in my body), I'm needing to gear my brain up to the idea of another twelve weeks of chemo. I love the idea of living longer. I also like the idea of not getting multiple pokes every week or planning something that doesn't involve the hospital on Fridays or actually having a functional immune system or having to get up earlier to style my own ringlets. It seems trite to be complaining about these things when I'm fighting for my life... but welcome to the dichotomy of emotions of my life.

[I'd still like to ask you to pray for my liver. Of all of the bloodwork done today only one number (one of my liver enzymes) was slightly out of normal range -- I consider that pretty impressive considering all of the cancer in my body right now. I'm still praying for miracle and trying to trust whatever happens.]

Ending on a funny note: when my chemo nurse talked about the hot weather ahead this weekend and suggested installing a ceiling fan, I told her I'd just take my hat/hair off and the thirty degree weather would turn into a balmy twenty-two degrees for me... there are definitely certain benefits to not having hair!

What I Have Survived Since Feb 12
(in 54 Appointments)

IVs (successful) x 36
IVs (unsuccessful) x 5
Bloodwork x 38
Biopsies x 12 (I think)

Chemo x 20
Bone strengthening infusion x 5

MRI x 1
CT x 3
Ultrasound x1
Xray x 3

Parking Ticket x almost one

A bruise on the back of my wrist from one of my four pokes this week.