Well folks, yesterday was the day I was supposed to go back to work. My maternity leave is finished. I should be getting my scrubs out of storage, babysitting arranged and preparing my brain for PICU nursing and caring for families in crisis.
Instead, I'm still in my pjs. I've had my coffee & bagel and Matias has had his Cheerios and banana. Xhevat, who is back at work now, has already checked in on us and is on his "lunch" break. My thoughts are on new finger foods for my one-year old, how soon my male pattern baldness will reverse so that I don't need to wear a hat or wig, and appointments with specialists to figure out next steps.
[Later today]
After a fun day with my sister & her kids, I got a call from my oncologist. A couple weeks ago I had a small lump that popped up on the side of my breast. While it didn't look very different from a mosquito bite, it didn't go away. I was watching it closely. This past Thursday after getting my back strengthening infusion, I decided to stop by to see my diagnosing doctor at the Breast Health Clinic. She was leaving for vacation (literally in 15 minutes) and after looking at my lump, decided the best option was to biopsy it immediately. A few minutes later, she ran off to catch her flight to a sunny destination and I walked off with stitches and a pressure dressing (and a little less flesh).
Today's doctor's call was to let me know that the pathology results were back and that "mosquito bite" bump that didn't go away was indeed cancer.
I was also told that the CT I had done (on the same day that I felt the lump) showed continued improvement to my liver.
I'm thankful for the good news about my liver. I'm a little shaken by my cancer having spread to my skin. I'd like to have a bit of a break from cancer's unexpected news in my life. I would love to be helping others' families in crisis and not be the one who is in need.
All in all, I'm trying to adjust to this new reality. I'm not falling apart, but I don't know how much more I can handle right now.
Hoping for a good night's sleep for the whole family and some renewed energy & hope for tomorrow.
My sister's gift for finishing chemo... Shampoo/Conditioner! (a little hope for the sprouts on my head... wow have I ever missed the smell of shampoo & conditioner!)
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