I Get to be Auntie Krista

Today I get to be Auntie Krista (and a very proud Auntie Krista at that!). I get to sit in a crowd and watch my nephew play soccer and my nieces dance. And then tomorrow we get to celebrate not only all three nieces' and nephew's birthdays but also my brother-in-law's. What a weekend!

This weekend I'm Auntie Krista... not Krista the patient -- who is asked to spell her last name and state her birthday before any bloodwork is done, any medicine is given, and even before the inevitable question that opens every chemo session as to how my week has been (which invariably turns to talking about my apetite, mouth sores, pain, neuropathies and bowel movements... I feel decades too young to be talking about my bowel movements -- or poop as I call it -- in such a manner).

Meanwhile back at the home front, I got my full dose of chemo yesterday (just barely). I guess it really doesn't matter if it's just barely or sky high, a full dose is a full dose... so who cares! I am happily thinking about my cancer cells dividing and trying to conquer my body but not knowing that only through cell division will my chemo have the opportunity to kill and destroy my cancer cells. What joyous thoughts... and to think that this is actually happening in my body as I'm writing this... yeah!

That's right... the light is back in Krista's life (or maybe it's just the steroids and a little adrenaline from getting out of my house and spending time with my family). Whatever the case, it's good to feel more light in my life. 

My mom reminded me again yesterday how much she hurts when I'm hurting. My dark days were very difficult for her. So I say to my mom and all of you who hurt with me, thank you. I'm doing better than last week. I'm expecting that I will have some more dark days and lots of light ones. Walk with me in those dark places and grieve with me. And on the light days, let's celebrate and enjoy life! 

(And today is a day that Auntie Krista is celebrating and I'm refusing to talk about my poop).