Round Two

I spoke with my doctor today. The results of my CT showed that my liver is in worse shape. Although the largest lesion is actually smaller than in August, the overall condition of my liver is not as good as it was.

So tomorrow will bring more chemo for me. It will be a combination of two different kinds of chemo with different side effects than last time... probably more nausea/vomiting, definitely hair loss, and then the other fun stuff like possibly heart failure, bleeding & a bigger risk for infections.

While it has been hard to readjust to the idea of chemo, it has been just as hard to "wait" for the last six days for chemo to resume. I'm ready to get on with this.

I've "debuted" my hair at church this past weekend. It will be gone in a few weeks again so I thought this would show it off. I was loved on and prayed for by many. It was one of my most difficult times at church. I could sing, 

"Be my guide, God of Abraham

Lead me by Your hand

You are strong & wise

I want to trust in You and in all I do

bring you honor and praise."

I found it very difficult to sing, "I'm alive and well. Your Spirit lives within me." I'm certainly alive and I know I have His Spirit living in me... but my heart is struggling to be well. 

I had tears streaming down my cheeks for most of the service as I tried to form the words with my voice that are imprinted in my soul.

It's a struggle... but we all have struggles and there are so many others whose struggles are much more difficult and painful. We need each other. I am so blessed to have thousands of people praying for me & cheering me on.

Thank you PCC for holding up my tear stained face and bringing me before our Father when I don't feel like I can take another step.

I'm heading into Round Two of this journey. This past weekend I was sharing with a friend that I just wanted Tuesday to come. Bring it on chemo 'cause we've got some cancer to kill! Her response to my cancer was "Let's get ready to rumble!" So on to Round Two we go!

P.S. I'm thrilled to report that I got my second drain out today. I was told that average length of days for the drain to remain in is 3-5 days. My first drain came out on day 13 and my second (and last) drain came out on day 19! Glad they've served their purpose; happy to move on. Very thankful for a nurse who fit me into her full schedule even with a sick call! And it was even better to find out we used to attend the same church! It's a small world.

Heading into Round Two of Chemo