Just a Stay At Home Mom

Some days I feel like cancer & being a patient consumes too much of my time and energy. Today has not been one of those days.

I woke up with my husband (at 3:45) and had trouble getting back to sleep. Then I heard crying coming from Matias' room around 6 which was followed by a thud and even louder crying.

It was one of those thuds that you know wasn't good. I found Matias in front of his Pack 'n Play with really big tears rolling down his cheeks. He had managed to climb his feet up the mesh of the Pack 'n Play and climbed over the rail! I have no clue how he landed but he was on his feet when I found him.

After giving him a few cuddles and getting over the shock of what could have happened, I put him back in the Pack 'n Play where he cried for the next hour. I spent that hour curled up on the floor of his bedroom with my pillow & blanket. Just in case I fell asleep and he got out of his bed again, I "slept" in front of the door so at least he couldn't get out of his bedroom. Tired of his crying, he then was put into his crib (even though he hasn't slept well there). Within a couple minutes he'd started to climb the rails of the crib (which could equal an even bigger fall) and got his knee stuck in between the rails. There were even more tears that followed.

We eventually came downstairs. With my glasses on (which I wear ever so rarely), I somehow got a coffee into me and food in front of him. In the next couple hours, my boy:

- found the only two drawers which don't have child locks on them

- played with the knobs on the gas stove

- climbed up the wall by the window to watch JR outside

- climbed up the stove (digging his little toes into the drawer below the oven and using the oven handle as a chin up bar)

- pushed around two bar stools at the same time

- chased around our dog (who weighs four times as much as he does)

- climbed up the bar stools

By the way, none of these things were approved of by me and a lot of correction and redirection was needed.

He then climbed up into my lap and just stared into my eyes with a great big grin on his face. Maybe he was wondering about my glasses or maybe he was simply just sharing a special moment with his mama. With that one look all of my tiredness, frustrations and concerns melted away and my heart was overwhelmed by love for my precious son.

I never asked (or wanted) to be a stay at home mom (which is a whole other story). But today despite all that has already happened, it feels so good to not think about cancer and just be a stay at home mom... and wow is this ever tiring!

P.S. Since the writing of this email, my son has pushed the bar stool with me sitting on it, done a chin up on the counter, tried to pull the laundry basket full of clothes off the table... and the list goes on and on. Did I mention that he's only seventeen months old? He has so much energy and fills each day with an incredible amount of joy! I am so thankful to have him in my life.

The Safety Lock for our Door Handle (which really bothers me since green is locked and red is unlocked... to me, green should be open and red should be closed... what do you think?)