What I'm Learning from Disney's Frozen

Spoiler Alert :-)

While I'm off chemo, I have bloodwork and an oncologist's appointment every four weeks. And every four weeks I go through the anticipation and fear that I will get bad news & have to go back on chemo. February/March has felt like a repeat of August/September being that we went on vacation, I just had surgery and then my doctor's appointment a few weeks later. I was unprepared last October for the news that I had to go back onto chemo so quickly. The tension and the fear have been pretty all consuming at times... especially last Monday when I got my bloodwork done.

What does the movie Frozen have to do with my cancer & bloodwork? Elsa, the older sister, was born with magical powers inside of her that can create ice and snow. Her ability to instantly create winter injures her younger sister and as a result she & her powers are hidden away from everyone. The more she tries to control her powers and emotions, the stronger they become. Years later and after an outburst where everyone sees her magical powers, she feels that the only way to protect herself & others is to escape by herself and live in her ice palace.

While I don't have any magical powers inside of me, I do have a bunch of cancer in me. And as I let my cancer consume more of my thoughts, emotions & life, I lose joy, control and focus. The trust and faith that I have in my God diminishes. And my fear and insecurities tower around me in my own ice palace. From that place it is hard to feel love and live in what I know is true in my daily life.

At the end of the movie Anna, the younger sister, gives up what she believed was her opportunity to be healed to save Elsa's life. Both of their lives were saved.

Elsa: "You sacrificed yourself for me?"

Anna: "I love you."

Olaf: "An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart."

Elsa: "Love will thaw."

I don't want to live in fear. I want to live in God's peace. He knows I have cancer in me and He can heal me from it if He wants... but He can also use my cancer to teach me and others things that we wouldn't have known otherwise. He sacrificed Himself for me & He loves me. His love has thawed my frozen heart.

In the final scene, Elsa uses her magical powers for good to create a skating rink for the townspeople, a... and even a "personal flurry" for Olaf the snowman. What once caused destruction and death was now being used for good and life. I want God to use my cancer for His good and life. He has sacrificed Himself and His love has melted my frozen, broken & fearful heart. I don't know the ways that He might use my cancer for good, but I'm willing to be used and excited to see good that has & will come from my cancer.

P.S. The fear of what my bloodwork results would be overshadowed much of my last weekend. Today I will go to my doctor and receive them officially. I say "officially" because I was able to get my numbers online last week (all legit) and everything is good. I have more of a functioning immune system, my liver enzymes are all normal & my tumour markers are the lowest that they've been since I started this journey! Joy & relief are wonderful feelings! God is good.

Now go watch the movie (again)!

Just a fun movie to watch (especially for us big kids!)