Most days I can push through the pain & emotions of this journey. Today I'm not doing it. I wish I could but it just seems like too much.
I've had a bad headache for way too long. Today I've had nausea & vomiting. My back has been hurting for a while and I've been experiencing some neurological changes. And emotionally I just feel tender and afraid.
I have not found anything to be helping my physical pain and I'm pretty sure that I have allowed that pain to affect me emotionally.
Everything combined drove me to visit the ER today. Triage. Assessment. Bloodwork. CT. Wait.
You know, just another Good Friday.
Then we got the news.
My head CT has shown some abnormalities in my brain -- most likely some new breast cancer metastases.
Ugh. Xhevat and I cried. We tried to text those who needed to know immediately (but missed people in the shock). Then we were sent over to RCH and I was admitted. As I looked around the others in the four bed room, I look nothing like the other patients. It scared me. Initial nursing assessment done. I lay my head down for the first time comfortably. Then the doc assesses me. He wants more imaging that won't happen until tomorrow hopefully.
"Do I need to be here or can you give me a overnight pass? I will be back whatever time you want me to be here." And he agreed!
So we're all at home. We picked up Matias from our neighbor's who were so fantastic to watch him (they only have girls clothes in his size). Nicole, my sis, arrived after 1am and now I'm supposed to hurry and rest and go back to my inpatient bed early in the morning.
It's a dark day today, but Sunday's coming.
Not welcome sites to see for me
ZOT VENDOSE DOREN TENDE MBI TRUPIN E MOTRES TIME DHE SHEROJE TE LUTEM ZOT, TE PERGJEROHEM O JEZUS EDI QE TI KE FUQI TE BESH CDO GJE.AMIN O ZOT.TE DUA SHUM MOTER.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for such painful news Krista. I have been following your journey through your blog and our mutual friend Amy. Big hugs to you and I am praying for strength for you and your family. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteDear, brave Krista. I'm sorry for this turn of events for you. Of course, those are manly pink monkeys for a manly little man. Love Niki
ReplyDeleteOh dear girl...praying for you this morning. Praying for your family and all those charged with your care. On this day may you sense his presence in a very special way. I have no words of wisdom or fixes but just know that you are loved.
ReplyDeleteNot what I wanted to read. I love you dear Krista. Gord and I continue to pray. Hugs to you my friend. xoxo
ReplyDeleteDear Krista - I check your blog on a daily basis and have been wondering how things were for you. I am so sorry to hear of this development. Of course physical pain brings emotional pain - the body and mind are never separate. I hope that you may have relief of pain and that may bring some ease to your mind. Drink in your home and family today so that they can help you in the days ahead. Love, Joy
ReplyDeleteHi Krista. I read this blog earlier today and was at a loss as to what to say. I didn't want to cite a bunch of platitudes because I knew you were overwhelmed with the new possibilities. I thought too being Easter with Jesus in the garden wanting the cup to pass if possible. I know you also would like this new cup to pass as well. I pray the promise of this Easter Sunday will bring you peace an hope.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you always. May the strength of your family's love fill you with peace and joy. I'm only a phone call away
ReplyDeleteRobyn
xox
The promise of Easter 'Peace be with you' comes to me while I panic reading this. Praying for God's Peace for each of you. Thankful for the compassion of your Dr., unending support from Xhevat and gracious neighbours.
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