I had a rough morning today. We were all ready to leave for church when Matias threw up... and he threw up a lot. He scared himself when he threw up and wouldn't stop crying. Xhevat and mom stripped him down and he continued to cry. So I sat down in the rocking chair and got them to put Matias in my arms and I sang to him.
After a little bit of back arching, he heard my voice and those big eyes filled with tears looked into mine. He started to calm down. He knew my voice and was comforted by it. Eventually his eyes stopped tearing up, his body relaxed, and his hand started to play with my lips as I continued to sing to him.
As his heart calmed, mine broke. For the last few weeks, my husband, sister & mom have taken over caring for my boy. They've fed him, changed his diapers, bathed him, snuggled him, giggled with him, watched him learn new things... and I've just watched. That's been hard for me but with everything going on, I've had to let go of physically taking care of him. I'm so thankful for others that have helped and couldn't have gotten through these last few weeks without them.
But today as I held him in my arms and was able to sing him into a peaceful place, I was reminded that I couldn't be replaced. And that I still hold a very special place in my little boy's heart.
We need to treasure each and every day the Lord gives us with our loved ones. Yes, a mother is very special and will always be special. You are implanting your love into Matias through each minute you hold him, with each song you sing, and with each hug you give him. Thanks for sharing, Krista.
ReplyDeleteGlen Forrester
Krista
ReplyDeleteYou do not know me nor I you, however we are praying for you as your cousin LoraLei has asked her friends and church family to join in prayer.. I felt compelled to read your blog, with tears in m y eyes I prayed for you and shared your journey with my husband. His response "she will be all right! God heals" WE are praying for you every day and thanking the Lord for your miracle recovery! It is there!
Krista, your journey truly is heartbreaking for me and so many others, but for me it is also inspiring to say the least. Through you, God has reminded me what a gift friendships, relatonships, family, my children, my husband are to me. Thank you my friend. Keep giving Matias those hugs, songs, kisses, smiles that only a mom can. Love, Monica
ReplyDeletejam duke e shkru kete koment dhe jam duke qar me lote dhe te kutpoj shum mir si nen qe jam vete.Je ne lutjet e mija motra ime.E di qe zoti do te bej mrekulli do te sheroj si shum e shum njerez qe jan sheruar me emrin e tij.Edi qe do te vij ajo dit qe do te sherohesh.te duam shum moter te lutem perqafoje dhe puthe shum matiasin.jeni ne lutjet e mija.meli
ReplyDeleteHi Krista! Thanks for sharing your story with us. We're thinking about you lots, and praying for you everyday. Thanks for reminding us that life is too short, and way too precious, and that we can't take anything or anyone forgranted. We're truly blessed to be here, surrounded by family and friends. Keep fighting, keep smiling, and remember that we're all fighting with you! Hugs to you and your family! -Krystie and Greg
ReplyDeleteEven though we can't be there with you to help out physically, we pray for you every time we think of you, and that's often. A bunch of us got together after church on Sunday and prayed specifically for you. You are indeed being prayed for by thousands so I have to agree with Nicole. Keep snuggling and singing to your precious son. Thank you for sharing your journey. We love you!! Steve, Debbie, Christie & Daniel.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your cancer,Nick (your Dad) is our cousin,and so even though we don't know you we can pray for you and believe that HIS will, will be done .I heard on radio a song that gave us comfort. here are the words, "He who watches over me never slumbers nor sleeps".
ReplyDeleteAs thy days so shall thy strength be.