Maybe it’s because I haven’t been sleeping the greatest… maybe there are just too many emotional things going on right now… maybe it’s just because my dose of steroids (that I got a day earlier this week) has worn off by today. Or maybe it’s because the highs and lows of Good Friday and Easter have become more real for me this year than ever before.
This year I’m facing death and life in a new way.
Good Friday and Easter are all about God’s perfect plan for
Jesus… and us. Good Friday is about Jesus
coming to earth to die as a perfect sacrifice for our sins – once for all. And Easter is about Jesus conquering death and
coming back to life that everyone who asks can live forever with Him.
Death and life.
I have no fear of death.
I know that God is perfect and He cannot have any imperfection in His
presence. I know that Jesus was the
perfect sacrifice that paid the price for my imperfection. And I know that
through Jesus’ death and resurrection, I can have complete confidence that I
will be able to spend forever with Him.
I’m ok with death.
But suffering and dying is not something that I like to
think of… and my cancer has certainly made me face this. I’ve spent a lot of today in tears – feeling weak,
tired, and fearful. I’ve had the
blessing of sharing my heart and my fears with a dear friend in the nursery at
church. I’ve had people surround my
family at church and pray for us. I’ve
joined in the simple yet grateful feast of remembering Jesus’ body and blood. And I’ve
been reminded of the truth of Easter and where my hope is.
Living is also difficult some days. The uncertainties of today and tomorrow are
sometimes overshadowing. It feels like I’m
living in between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I know of the promises but struggle to live
in them. And that is when I need to
remind myself that my hope is in Jesus… in His death and life. Easter has come! I can face all of the uncertainties of today
and tomorrow and the next day because death has not won. I can live in the hope
of my Saviour who is alive today.Today, my head and my heart are needing to talk… so that what I know to be true in my head can meet the emotions of my heart and in agreement they can say:
"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
Bless the Lord O my soul"
"In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love"
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives."
Happy Easter. He is risen!
He is risen indeed!
I had a little brush with death once. It wasn't the result of a prolonged illness, it was just a sudden moment in time when a series of events led to the near demise of my physical self - where I was separated from the essentials required to maintain this human body and so it started to expire. I will say that it was the greatest blessing that God could give me, to actually experience the soul as spearate from the physical form. That said, it was also completely terrifying to actually witness the bonds between the soul and the body start to dissolve -- to actually feel that. (For me this was too much information!! :) I agree with you about the end result of death -- there is nothing in it to fear. But dying itself, when that complete shift in relationship between physical self and the soul takes place, is something else. I am still intimidated a little from my slight brush with the cosmic Allness of God -- the experience of God on that level. I am fearful of that still. The enormity of that, the power in it. His Bigness, and my smallness, as you so wonderfully expressed it. The Creator God, on the Cosmic level, infinite, omnipotent, beyond life and death. I pray that our Loving God, in his infinite mercy, will guide both of us to some place of peace with our fears. Thank you for being so open about your journey.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post, Krista! You are a source of inspiration and such a blessing to me. Praying for you today & this week as you face life's challenges, joys & all that comes your way. I love you, sister. xo Jenn
ReplyDelete